Ryan’s NFL Picks (2019): Week Thirteen

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Last week was rough for me personally, I was in attendance for a beatdown to my Oakland Raiders via the New York Jets. Make no mistake, I had a ton of fun at the game, but that’s because I’m just a fun guy. My picks weren’t bad either. I’m picking right 67% of the time. Hoping to bump that number up before the season is done.

Last Week’s Record: 10-4
Overall Record: 114-56
LOCK Record: 8-4

Ryan’s NFL Picks (2019): Week Thirteen

Chicago Bears @ Detroit Lions: Chicago Bears

This game is going to be ugly. Bad quarterback play for everyone to see, but I think the Bears come away with the win as they fight for their post-season lives. I wouldn’t rule out a Lions win though, as I continue to insist they’re better than people give them credit for.

Buffalo Bills @ Dallas Cowboys: Dallas Cowboys

Jason Garrett needs to lose his job, that’s all there is to it. This team is crazy talented and they just keep losing games they should absolutely win. This is a dangerous game for the Boys, as they take on bonafide AFC playoff contenders, the Buffalo Bills. However, I think their defense matches up well against Josh Allen, and their offense is explosive enough to win this one.

New Orleans Saints @ Atlanta Falcons: New Orleans Saints

Man, if the Saints don’t pummel the Falcons, then I don’t know what in the world is going on with them. They obviously overlooked the Dirty Birds the last time they played, but Atlanta just lost to the freaking Buccaneers. Dan Quinn should be booting up Indeed or Monster, looking for his next job.

Tennessee Titans @ Indianapolis Colts: Tennessee Titans

I know this is a weird pick, but the Tennessee Titans are a good team. They play decent defense and Derrick Henry continues to be one of the league’s more underrated tailbacks. I just don’t trust the Colts, as they never seem to win the important games.

New York Jets @ Cincinnati Bengals: New York Jets

Don’t look now, but the Jets are rolling. Jamal Adams is proving that two first-round picks wasn’t “too much” for him, and again, they destroyed my Raiders. Despite what a bunch of ravenous Raiders fans told me, the Bengals are the worst team in football. Jets roll.

Washington Redskins @ Carolina Panthers: Carolina Panthers

I was as happy as anyone to see the Washington Redskins get a win last week, but I don’t think this squad is about to start stacking wins. Christian McCaffrey is the best running back in football, and he can carry this squad, almost literally, over the bad teams. Panthers win at home.

San Francisco 49ers @ Baltimore Ravens: Baltimore Ravens

You think I’m going to be caught dead picking against Lamar Jackson and the Ravens? Keep on dreaming.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Jacksonville Jaguars: Jacksonville Jaguars

I don’t think Bruce Arians understands how running the ball works, which is great, because the Jags don’t seem to understand how to stop the run. This battle of bad Florida teams could easily turn into a shootout, and I’m all about it. I expect at least 60 combined passing attempts in this one.

Cleveland Browns @ Pittsburgh Steelers: Cleveland Browns

FINALLY, this feud has some real spice to it! I hate a divisional rivalry without any bad blood, but we’ve finally got some, thanks in part to two players that won’t appear in this game. Myles Garrett, because he’s suspended indefinitely, and Mason Rudolph, who is just as bad at being a likable human being as he is throwing a football. My gut and heart say Cleveland, so that’s how I’m picking.

Green Bay Packers @ New York Giants: Green Bay Packers

Aaron Rodgers LOVES to beat up on helpless bad teams, and he gets to do that here. We can just pretend we don’t know he hasn’t beaten a decent team in about five years while he pads his stats some more.

Philadelphia Eagles @ Miami Dolphins: Philadelphia Eagles

The cure to a struggling offense is a porous defense, and the Dolphin D might as well be Spongebob Squarepants. Carson Wentz is going to go off in this game, and the Dolphins will continue to be the biggest tank in a NFL stadium since Rusev’s WrestleMania entrance.

Los Angeles Rams @ Arizona Cardinals: Los Angeles Rams

Man, I don’t know about this one. Kyler Murray is quietly having a very promising rookie season, and the Rams are a dumpster fire. If Lamar Jackson could throw five touchdowns against this defense, Kyler should be able to get three, right? I’m giving Sean McVay the benefit of the doubt, but don’t be surprised…

Los Angeles Chargers @ Denver Broncos: Los Angeles Chargers

Last week, against the Buffalo Bills, the Broncos averaged less than five inches a play at the end of the game. Not yards, inches. It would take 72 plays to get a first down at that pace. Assuming Philip Rivers doesn’t completely crap the bed again, the Chargers should be able to get a win here.

Oakland Raiders @ Kansas City Chiefs: Kansas City Chiefs (LOCK OF THE WEEK)

Yep, didn’t waste any time with this one. The Oakland Raiders can’t play in bad weather, it’s going to snow. They can’t stop good quarterbacks, they’re facing the reigning MVP. They can’t win in Arrowhead, and guess where the game is being played? Miss me this week, I’ll be content with an 8-8 finish to a promising season.

New England Patriots @ Houston Texans: New England Patriots

The Patriots defense excels at taking away their opposition’s best weapon. In this case, it’s DeAndre Hopkins. This feels like a game where the Pats defense sacks Deshaun Watson eight times and Tom Brady doesn’t break 200 yards but they win by double digits. Oof.

Minnesota Vikings @ Seattle Seahawks: Seattle Seahawks

The Seahawks the quiet contenders. Not as flashy as the Baltimore Ravens, not as much sizzle as the 49ers, but competitive and dominant all-the-same. This team is waiting for their second shot at their division rivals, the niners, for NFC West supremacy, but they’ll settle for this playoff contender appetizer.

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