Ryan’s NFL Picks (2019): Week Five

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It was only a matter of time until I had a really, really bad week. I slipped under .500, missing terribly on a few games, including a win by my own team, and… incidentally… the lock. So far, nobody from the chat has noticed, so we’ll find out if they actually read these articles!

Oh well! Onto week five.

Last Week’s Record: 7-8
Overall Record: 38-19
LOCK Record: 2-2

Ryan’s NFL Picks (2019): Week Five

Los Angeles Rams @ Seattle Seahawks: Seattle Seahawks

This is a gut pick. The game is in Seattle, the Rams aren’t 100% yet, and something is wrong with Jared Goff. SEA?

Jacksonville Jaguars @ Carolina Panthers: Jacksonville Jaguars

THE GARDNER MINSHEW HYPE TRAIN DOES NOT HAVE BRAKES, I REPEAT, THE GARDNER MINSHEW HYPE TRAIN DOES. NOT. HAVE. BRAKES. ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL ABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOARD!

New England Patriots @ Washington Redskins: New England Patriots

I’m surprised that Jay Gruden still has a job with the Redskins.I really thought he’d have some kind of made up assistant job in Oakland by now. Going up against Bill Belichick doesn’t help his chances.

Buffalo Bills @ Tennessee Titans: Buffalo Bills

Marcus Mariota + Buffalo’s defense= A bad, bad time for the Titans.

Baltimore Ravens @ Pittsburgh Steelers: Baltimore Ravens

Last week, the Steelers finally won, and the Ravens got smacked by the Browns IN Baltimore… but the Ravens aren’t the Bengals, and the Steelers sure as hell aren’t the Browns. Ravens find their footing, and the “Fire Tomlin” chants get louder.

Arizona Cardinals @ Cincinnati Bengals: Arizona Cardinals

Yikes. I’m gonna regret this one, but that’s the way the coin landed.

Atlanta Falcons @ Houston Texans: Houston Texans

Talk about the Spider-Man meme. If you told me in August that this would be the Super Bowl, I don’t think I’d be surprised. Now, I can’t figure either of them out. I keep waiting for them to get it together, but they just can’t. I’m picking the Texans because while Deshaun Watson and DeAndre Hopkins cancel out Matt Ryan and Julio Jones, the Falcons don’t have an answer for J.J. Watt.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ New Orleans Saints: New Orleans Saints

The Saints have beaten the Seattle Seahawks and Dallas Cowboys in consecutive weeks without Drew Brees.

Minnesota Vikings @ New York Giants: Minnesota Vikings (LOCK OF THE WEEK)

Daniel Jones, meet Harrison Smith. Harrison Smith, meet Daniel Jones. No Saquon Barkley? No more Blue Mark Sanchez hype.

Chicago Bears “@” Oakland Raiders: Chicago Bears

Khalil Mack commits murder in front of the entire world on foreign soil, Jon Gruden grimaces, I drink until Las Vegas. I’m happy Derek Carr has lived a life free of sin, because he very well meet his maker in London.

New York Jets @ Philadelphia Eagles: Philadelphia Eagles

Without Sam Darnold, the New York Jets have had to commit to the run, and the Philadelphia Eagles do not give up rushing yards.

Denver Broncos @ Los Angeles Chargers: Los Angeles Chargers

The Chargers are a mess, but the Broncos are a disaster. Vic Fangio can’t get anything out of his elite defenders, and they just lost Bradley Chubb for the season. Is Joe Flacco really going to come out and save this team? Probably not.

Green Bay Packers @ Dallas Cowboys: Dallas Cowboys

The Green Bay Packers can’t stop the run and the Dallas Cowboys only know how to run the ball. It’s a mismatch made in heaven, and Ezekiel Elliott is the last person the Packers defense wants to see right now.

Indianapolis Colts @ Kansas City Chiefs: Kansas City Chiefs

The Detroit Lions gave the Chiefs all they could handle last week, what were the banged-up Indianapolis Colts doing? Losing pretty handily to the Oakland Raiders in Indianapolis? You really expect anyone to take the Colts seriously against the Chiefs in primetime in Arrowhead? Okay.

Cleveland Browns @ San Francisco 49ers: Cleveland Browns

I still don’t believe in the San Francisco 49ers or their GQ cover quarterback, and I feel like the Cleveland Browns are finally finding their footing after a weird start. Browns travel to the bay in primetime and come away with a big win.

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